Two Important Disclaimers: Not all people who identify as men have prostates, and not all people with prostates identify as men. I unfortunately have to use some binary language in this review to target relevant search keywords.Â
Additionally, I received this product free from Butter Wellness in exchange for my honest review.
When Butter Wellness reached out about trying their men’s vibrator, exclusively for external prostate play, I was intrigued! However, I’ll admit I was also a bit skeptical and wondering, how is this any different from your average vibrator? Could it actually lead to a prostate orgasm without anal penetration?
Read on for my Butter Wellness The Personal Massager review.
See also: my Butter Wellness The Water-Based Lubricant review.
About the Brand
Butter Wellness is a men’s sexual wellness brand headquartered in Chicago, IL. They’re a small business and relatively new to the market. Their product line consists of The Personal Massager, The Water-Based Lubricant, and a branded merchandise hat.
Areas of Consideration for This Review:
Design & Materials
The Personal Massager is a tear-drop shaped vibrator meant for prostate play via external stimulation of the prostate, or the “p-spot”. Prostate play is how a man achieves a prostate orgasm. It’s usually done via internal anal insertion.
The toy is made of silicone and is phthalate, BPA, and latex-free. It comes in a vibrant royal blue color.
Silicone is has a smooth matte texture, and is safe to use with water-based lube. It’s one of my favorite sex toy materials because it’s hygienic, easy to clean, and hypoallergenic.
Product Specifications
- External-use only
- Phthalate, latex, & BPA-free
- Body-safe silicone
- Waterproof
- 10 vibration settings
- USB rechargeable
- Ultra-quiet
- Dimensions: 3.6 in. x 1.7 in.
Source: Butter Wellness – The Personal Massager Product Specifications
Instructions for Use
- Turn on the Personal Massager by holding down the power button for 3 seconds.
- Hold the massager in your palm, with the curved (button-side) facing up.
- Place curved side on the perineum, narrow side pointing down.
- Tap the power button to cycle through the 10 settings.
- Turn it off by holding the power button for 3 seconds again.
According to Butter Wellness, the device is safe for external use only.
Accessibility
Being neurodivergent and living with chronic pain and disabilities, I also explore whether this men’s sex toy would work for me on my “bad days”. That is, during a flare-up or increased sensory sensitivity. Your needs may vary, but here are some accessibility-specific details that may help you determine whether the toy is accessible to you.
- Size: 3.6 inches long x 1.7 inches wide and fits comfortably in one hand.Â
- Buttons: There’s one round power button on the curved side of The Personal Massager. It’s about 1/3 inch across and sits flush with the surface. The button is labeled and embossed with the classic I/O power button characters. It takes low to moderate pressure to press, and makes a loud ‘click’ sound.
- Noise Level: The device has a “high and fast” vibration sound. I wouldn’t consider it to be an “ultra-quiet” device. It’s fairly loud and the sound level increases with vibration speed. On the lowest setting I could easily hear it in the pocket of my denim jeans. My partner could hear it standing about 6 feet away while it was in my pocket. I could also easily hear it inside of an inner pocket of my purse (partially closed), and inside of a standard sized backpack that was zipped closed. I tested the backpack 2 times – once empty (except for the device) and once with 3 notebooks in the same pocket as the device.
- Weight: 2.6 ounces (73.9 grams) this is a very lightweight device.
- Texture and Sensory: Soft and smooth silicone with a debossed power button on the side that goes against the perineum. The opposite side has embossed text “butter” and small safety symbols at about 3/4 inch x 1/4 inch in size each.
- Vibration Transfer: Substantial vibration transfer. Most of the vibration comes from the tapered end of the toy but is felt throughout. I don’t believe I’d be able to comfortably use this during a flare-up when my nerve-pain and sensitivity are heightened.
- Â Price: At $89 USD, this vibrator is at about the mid to high price range for a rechargeable and body-safe silicone device.
- Additional Details: The charger has a click sound when it makes contact and is easily visible when connected. The charging cord is just under 32 inches long to the bottom of the USB port.Â
Being neurodivergent and living with chronic pain and disabilities, I also explore whether this toy would work for me on my “bad days” during a flare-up or increased sensory sensitivity. Your needs may vary, but here are some accessibility-specific details that may help you determine whether the toy will be accessible to you.
- Size: 3.6 inches long x 1.7 inches wide and fits comfortably in one hand.
- Weight: 2.6 ounces (73.9 grams) this is a very lightweight device.
- Buttons: There’s one round power button on the curved side of The Personal Massager. It’s about 1/3 inch across and sits flush with the surface. The button is labeled and embossed with the classic I/O power button characters. It takes low to moderate pressure to press, and makes a loud ‘click’ sound.
- Texture and Sensory: Soft and smooth silicone with a debossed power button on the side that goes against the perineum. The opposite side has embossed text “butter” and small safety symbols at about 3/4 inch x 1/4 inch in size each.
- Noise Level: The device has a “high and fast” vibration sound. I wouldn’t consider it to be an “ultra-quiet” device. It’s fairly loud and the sound level increases with vibration speed. On the lowest setting I could easily hear it in the pocket of my denim jeans. My partner could hear it standing about 6 feet away while it was in my pocket. I could also easily hear it inside of an inner pocket of my purse (partially closed) and inside of a standard sized backpack that was zipped closed. I tested the backpack 2 times – once empty (except for the device) and once with 3 notebooks in the same pocket as the device.
- Vibration Transfer: Substantial vibration transfer. Most of the vibration comes from the tapered end of the toy but is felt throughout. I don’t believe I’d be able to comfortably use this during a flare-up where my nerve-pain and sensitivity are heightened.
- Price: At $89 USD, this vibrator is at about the mid to high price range for a rechargeable and body-safe silicone device.
- Additional Details: The charger has a click sound when it makes contact and is easily visible when connected. The charging cord is just under 32 inches long to the bottom of the USB port.
Packaging
The Personal Massager comes packaged in an ivory-colored box with their royal blue Greco-Roman style branding. The front of the box has their logo with “butter” written below it.
Inside the box is The Personal Massager, the user manual, and a USB charging cable.
The branding is actually one of my favorite things about this company. Often, products targeting men are obnoxiously hypermasculine or misogynistic and objectifying towards women – usually both. Butter Wellness does neither of these, using tasteful branding and imagery.Â
With sex-tech in particular, the branding is often hyperfeminine and orgasm-centric. And while I am quite the orgasm enthusiast and fully support empowering women, this does leave out gender andÂ
sexuality expansive identities, and specifically men’s pleasure. Often stigmatizing the latter, considering it to be “creepy”.
Another important detail to note, the product is meant for external-use only. Their marketing focuses on normalizing prostate play as a whole. While the prostate is an internal organ that is often stimulated internally through anal insertion, you can stimulate it externally with gentle pressure to the perineum. A lot of people with prostates are uncomfortable with the idea of internal prostate stimulation for a variety of reasons, and this product caters to that demographic.Â
It’s definitely an underserved group. More importantly, Butter Wellness markets to them in a way that isn’t problematic. Anal penetration, even if it promises a prostate orgasm, is heavily stigmatized.Â
The Personal Massager comes packaged in an ivory-colored box with their royal blue Greco-Roman style branding. The front of the box has their logo with “butter” written below it.
Inside the box is The Personal Massager, the user manual, and a USB charging cable.
The branding is actually one of my favorite things about this company. Often, products targeted towards men are obnoxiously hypermasculine or misogynistic and objectifying towards women – usually both. Butter Wellness does neither of these, and has tasteful branding and imagery.Â
With sex-tech in particular, the branding is often hyperfeminine and orgasm-centric. And while I am quite the orgasm enthusiast and fully support empowering women, this does leave out gender and sexuality expansive identities and men’s pleasure. The latter is often stigmatized as “creepy”, unfortunately.
Another important detail to note, the product is meant for external-use only and focuses on that type of prostate stimulation. While the prostate is an internal organ that is often stimulated internally through anal insertion, you can stimulate it externally with gentle pressure to the perineum. A lot of people with prostates are uncomfortable with the idea of internal prostate stimulation for a variety of reasons, and this product caters to that demographic.Â
It’s definitely an underserved group, and Butter Wellness markets to them in a way that isn’t further stigmatizing towards internal prostate stimulation or thinly-veiled homophobia.Â
Care & Cleaning
You can clean The Personal Massager with mild soap and warm water. I also like using a sex toy cleaner before and after use. Here are some of my favorites!Â
Butter Wellness says the massager is completely waterproof – and they’re correct! I submerged it in a full bathtub and glass of water while turned on and off. The toy worked as expected while submerged and after.
If you’d like to add lubricant, Butter Wellness says to only use water-based.
To charge, plug one end of the included USB charger into a USB port and place the other end over the circular metal charging contact at the top of the massager. It charges magnetically, so you shouldn’t need to use force to connect it. Once on charge, the power button will slowly flash blue and will stop flashing when fully charged.Â
The light flashes rapidly when the battery is running low. Butter Wellness says to use only with a 5-volt USB wall adapter (standard mobile phone charger).
Check out my review of Butter Wellness The Water-Based Lubricant
Storage
Store in a cool dry place separately from other sex toys. Storing silicone toys together can degrade them over time. I keep mine in their original box or a fabric pouch.Â
You can clean The Personal Massager with mild soap and warm water. I also like using a sex toy cleaner before and after use. Here are some of my favorites!Â
Butter Wellness says the massager is completely waterproof – and they’re correct! I submerged it in a full bathtub and glass of water while turned on and off. The toy worked as expected while submerged and after.
If you’d like to add lubricant, Butter Wellness says to only use water-based.Â
Check out my review of Butter Wellness The Water-Based Lubricant
To charge, plug one end of the included USB charger into a USB port and place the other end over the circular metal charging contact at the top of the massager. It charges magnetically, so you shouldn’t need to use force to connect it. Once on charge, the power button will slowly flash blue and will stop flashing when fully charged. It takes about x hours to fully charge, and gives you about x hours of playtime.
The light flashes rapidly when the battery is running low. Butter Wellness says to use only with a 5-volt USB wall adapter (standard mobile phone charger).
Storage
Store in a cool dry place separately from other sex toys. Storing silicone toys together can degrade them over time. I keep mine in their original box or a fabric pouch.
Partner Testing
Note: I have the consent of each partner to share the details of both our partnered sessions and their solo sessions. They collaborated with me on writing their respective sections, with full agency to change or remove any part. They also read and approved the final draft before this post went live. I’ve changed their names for their privacy.
Given that I don’t have a prostate, two of my partners that do assisted with testing (the toys were thoroughly cleaned between use!). Additionally, each of them tested the product solo to try to achieve a prostate orgasm. I’ll go into the specifics of each session below.Â
I start by asking their likes, dislikes, and overall experience with the toy. I also ask whether they had a prostate orgasm. Lastly, asking them the following before and after partnered sessions:
- Does this toy feel better than pressure applied with my finger?
- Does it feel any different than a standard “fast” bullet vibe?
- Does it feel any different from a more rumbly magic wand?
Next, I ask them the following set of questions after their solo play sessions:
- Is the toy comfortable to hold and use? (consider weight, size, vibration transfer)
- Would you use this during solo sessions regularly or only in specific circumstances?
- Â Is this a toy that you would buy and use? Why or why not?Â
Jesse's Experience
Jesse (he/they) identifies as a gender-fluid, kinky submissive. He and I explore BDSM power dynamics with one another, and he has been wearing a chastity cage consistently since July 2023. The cage stays on 24/7, except during their daily shower. He is in service to me, and is not allowed orgasms without permission. Their last orgasm was September 30, 2023 on “Lock-tober” Eve, when the chastity cage was removed for this purpose.
Because of Jesse’s regular chastity use, he is sensitive to any kind of sexual stimulation – whether they’re wearing the cage or not.Â
The cage inhibits his ability to achieve an erection – at least externally. The penis still erects, and can be further stimulated from the mons pubis area. It is possible for Jesse to achieve orgasm while still in chastity, however he was not allowed orgasms during our partnered sessions. This is partly because I’m a sadistic asshole 😉 but mostly because I wanted them to pay attention to the sensations enough to review this product.Â
Jesse is new to prostate play, saying that they “get close, but get too sensitive” when trying to achieve a prostate orgasm. As of this writing, he’s never had a prostate orgasm.
Partnered Sessions with Jesse
We tested the toy in two partnered sessions – one while he wore the chastity cage and one while they didn’t – about a week apart to account for sensitivity. Orgasms were not permitted during partnered sessions, and I had him speak to what he was feeling in the moment. This prevented an orgasm by keeping his mind occupied, but also forced them to give me feedback on the toy in real-time.
While Wearing the Chastity Cage
An added benefit to play with a chastity cage on is the additional sensory experience of the cage itself vibrating. We used plenty of water-based lube during this session so that the toy would glide easily without him immediately sensing the direction.Â
I’d occasionally touch the cage while stimulating their perineum with the toy, which vibrated the entire cage and added deeper rumbly vibration sensations. We flipped through all 10 vibration settings, with each new level eliciting a yelp of surprised pleasure.
Without the Chastity Cage
While the chastity cage was off, I used the massager on them without any additional intimate stimulation, then briefly in tandem during a hand job. This didn’t go on for very long before he was overstimulated and needed to stop.Â
Jesse's Solo Sessions
Jesse also had two solo sessions three days later, both in and out of chastity, one day apart. They had full permission to experience pleasure and orgasms unhindered during the solo sessions.
They achieved orgasm both times, stating their favorite was (surprisingly) with the cage on. The added rumbly sensation of the cage helped remove some of his sensitivity, which is Jesse’s primary issue with most fast vibe toys.Â
He’s unsure if he had prostate orgasms specifically, as they didn’t feel any different. However, his high-sensitivity – heightened with chastity – do bring on faster orgasms in general. That is, when he’s allowed to have them.Â
Lee's Experience
Lee (he/him) identifies as a queer, flux, sexual switch. Our relationship dynamic is casual, and we explore kink solely for sexual gratification – without any power exchange. Lee has a sex toy collection that rivals any sex shop. His collection even includes full-sized machines. So, he was the perfect partner to help me review this device.
In addition to his extensive toy collection, Lee is a prostate play veteran – enjoying it during solo and partnered play. He particularly enjoys internal anal
stimulation of the prostate – proudly saying that the prostate orgasm is his favorite kind. And though he was skeptical that external prostate stimulation would be “worth the time” (his words, not mine), he agreed to give it a try.Â
We tested the toy in two partnered sessions about two days apart, using water-based lube for both sessions. He also tried it for one solo session, a few days later, without lube. He had no interest in trying it for additional solo sessions.Â
Partnered Sessions with Lee
First, Lee and I tried The Personal Massager without any additional sexual stimulation. We started on the lowest setting, but he quickly asked to switch settings. We flipped through each vibration setting, and got all the way back to the first. He then manually stimulated himself while I continued to use the toy on his perineum. He achieved orgasm, but attributes it to the additional stimulation.Â
When he answered my questions, it was like pulling teeth:
Does this toy feel better than pressure applied with my finger?
“Your finger is less buzzy, so that’s rad.”
Does it feel any different than a standard “fast” bullet vibe?
“It’s definitely like a fast vibe. Don’t love it, don’t hate it.”
Does it feel any different from a more rumbly magic wand?
“Not rumbly at all. I wish it had more rumbles.”
Next, we tried The Personal Massager while I digitally stimulated his prostate internally in tandem. This session lasted for what felt like seconds before he had an orgasm. Specifically, a prostate orgasm, according to him. It also resulted in his downstairs neighbor hitting the ceiling with a broom.Â
Lee needed a day to recover before he could even come up with answers to the questions (hah!), so I instead had him give me a paragraph testimonial:
“I saw the face of God.”
I pressed further, and he finally gave me a more substantial answer:
“It was a lot at first, but the fast buzz and your finger was amazing. Everything felt more intense, and my brain could only focus on how good it felt.”
I think it’s fair to say that he liked it.
Lee's Solo Session
Fortunately, Lee gave his solo session more critical attention. So, I was able to get a more in-depth answer on whether The Personal Massager led to a prostate orgasm for him:
“It was a different sensation when I was jacking off, so that was kinda rad. I don’t know if it feels any different from any other vibrator. I guess it just feels faster. Good amount of settings though. My hand felt tired with the hard buzzing, and from the angle it was a bit awkward to hold it like they said I should. It kept slipping from my fingers because I’d knock it with my other hand by accident, so it helped to just sit on it. I don’t know if I’d go out of my way to buy it, but it’s nice.”
As a sex toy afficionado with more toys than the average (or, frankly, even sex work professional) person, Lee is certainly more critical of toys in general. His perspective on The Personal Massager was weighed against how it would fit into his existing collection.
Given that I don’t have a prostate, I tested this device on two partners that do (the toys were thoroughly cleaned between use!) and each of them tested the product solo. I’ll go into the specifics of each session more below.Â
In addition to asking their likes, dislikes, and overall experience, I asked them the following questions before and after our partnered sessions:
- Does this toy feel better than pressure applied with my finger?
- Does it feel any different than a standard “fast” bullet vibe?
- Does it feel any different from a more rumbly magic wand?
And, I asked them the next set of questions following their solo play sessions:
- Is the toy comfortable to hold and use? (consider weight, size, vibration transfer)
- Would you use this during solo sessions regularly or only in specific circumstances?
- Â Is this a toy that you would buy and use? Why or why not?Â
Note: I have the consent of each partner to share the details of both our partnered sessions and their solo sessions. They collaborated with me on writing their respective sections, with full agency to change or remove any part. They also read and approved the final draft before this post went live. I’ve changed their names for their privacy.
Jesse's Experience
Jesse (he/they) identifies as a gender-fluid, kinky submissive. He and I explore BDSM power dynamics with one another, and he has been wearing a chastity cage consistently since July 2023. The cage stays on 24/7, except during their daily shower. He is in service to me, and is not allowed orgasms without permission. Their last orgasm was September 30, 2023 on “Lock-tober” Eve, when the chastity cage was removed for this purpose.
Because of Jesse’s regular chastity use, he is sensitive to any kind of sexual stimulation – whether they’re wearing the cage or not. The cage inhibits his ability to achieve an erection – at least externally. The penis still erects, and can be further stimulated from the mons pubis area.Â
It is possible for Jesse to achieve orgasm while still in chastity, however he was not allowed orgasms during our partnered sessions. This is partly because I’m a sadistic asshole 😉 but mostly because I wanted them to pay attention to the sensations enough to review this product.Â
Jesse is new to prostate play, saying that they “get close, but get too sensitive” when trying to achieve a prostate orgasm. As of this writing, he’s never had a prostate orgasm.
Partnered Sessions with Jesse
We tested the toy in two partnered sessions – one while he wore the chastity cage and one while they didn’t – about a week apart to account for sensitivity. Orgasms were not permitted during partnered sessions, and I had him speak to what he was feeling in the moment. This prevented an orgasm by keeping his mind occupied, but also forced them to give me feedback on the toy in real-time.
While Wearing the Chastity Cage
An added benefit to play with a chastity cage on is the additional sensory experience of the cage itself vibrating. We used plenty of water-based lube during this session so that the toy would glide easily without him immediately sensing the direction.Â
I’d occasionally touch the cage while stimulating their perineum with the toy, which vibrated the entire cage and added deeper rumbly vibrations. We flipped through all 10 vibration settings, with each new level eliciting a yelp of surprised pleasure.
Without the Chastity Cage
While the chastity cage was off, I used the massager on them without any additional intimate stimulation for a bit, then briefly in tandem during a hand job. This didn’t go on for very long before he was overstimulated and needed to stop.Â
Jesse's Solo Sessions
Jesse also had two solo sessions three days later, both in and out of chastity, one day apart. They had full permission to experience pleasure and orgasms unhindered during the solo sessions.
They achieved orgasm both times, stating their favorite was (surprisingly) with the cage on. The added rumbly sensation of the cage helped remove some of his sensitivity, which is their primary issue with most fast vibe toys.Â
He’s unsure if he had prostate orgasms specifically, as they didn’t feel any different. However, his high-sensitivity – heightened with chastity – do bring on faster orgasms in general. That is, when he’s allowed to have them.Â
Lee's Experience
Lee (he/him) identifies as a queer, flux, sexual switch. Our relationship dynamic is casual, and we explore kink solely for sexual gratification – without any power exchange. Lee has a sex toy collection that rivals any sex shop, including full-sized machines, so he was the perfect partner to help me review this device.
In addition to his extensive toy collection, Lee is a prostate play veteran –Â enjoying it during solo and partnered play. He particularly enjoys internal anal stimulation of the prostate – proudly saying that it’s his favorite way to orgasm. And though he was skeptical that external prostate stimulation would be “worth the time” (his words, not mine), he agreed to give it a try.Â
We tested the toy in two partnered sessions about two days apart, using water-based lube for both sessions. He also tried it for one solo session, a few days later, without lube. He had no interest in trying it for additional solo sessions.Â
Partnered Sessions with Lee
First, Lee and I tried The Personal Massager without any additional sexual stimulation. We started on the lowest setting, but he quickly asked to switch settings. We flipped through each vibration setting, and got all the way back to the first. He then manually stimulated himself while I continued to use the toy on his perineum. He achieved orgasm, but attributes it to the additional stimulation.Â
When he answered my questions, it was like pulling teeth:
Does this toy feel better than pressure applied with my finger?
“Your finger is less buzzy, so that’s rad.”
Does it feel any different than a standard “fast” bullet vibe?
“It’s definitely like a fast vibe. Don’t love it, don’t hate it.”
Does it feel any different from a more rumbly magic wand?
“Not rumbly at all. I wish it had more rumbles.”
Next, we tried The Personal Massager while I digitally stimulated his prostate internally in tandem. This session lasted for what felt like seconds before he had an orgasm. It also resulted in his downstairs neighbor hitting the ceiling with a broom. Lee needed a day to recover before he could even come up with answers to the questions (hehe), so I instead had him give me a paragraph testimonial:
“I saw the face of God.”
I pressed further, and he finally gave me a more substantial answer:
“It was a lot at first, but the fast buzz and your finger was amazing. Everything felt more intense, and my brain could only focus on how good it felt.”
I think it’s fair to say that he liked it.
Lee's Solo Session
Fortunately, Lee gave his solo session more critical attention. So, I was able to get a more in-depth answer:
“It was a different sensation when I was jacking off, so that was kinda rad. I don’t know if it feels any different from any other vibrator. I guess it just feels faster. Good amount of settings though. My hand felt tired with the hard buzzing, and from the angle it was a bit awkward to hold it like they said I should. It kept slipping from my fingers because I’d knock it with my other hand by accident, so it helped to just sit on it. I don’t know if I’d go out of my way to buy it, but it’s nice.”
As a sex toy afficionado with more toys than the average (or, frankly, even sex work professional) person, Lee is certainly more critical of toys in general. His perspective on The Personal Massager was weighed against how it would fit into his existing collection.
Final Thoughts
So, Is 'The Personal Massager' the Solution for a Prostate Orgasm?
It depends. For me personally, the biggest issue was the substantial vibration transfer causing discomfort and nerve pain. However, your accessibility needs and preferences may vary. If you want a toy that’s exclusively yours (or the prostate-owner in your life’s), then I’d say yes. I haven’t yet seen toys catered to external prostate play specifically. So, if anal insertion has been the barrier to exploring prostate orgasms, then this toy could be the answer.Â
Butter Wellness is normalizing men’s wellness and pleasure – particularly the prostate orgasm. I love what they’re doing, because it’s something that’s long been necessary in Sex-Tech. And, it’s a huge bonus that they are able to market it while still being affirming and not problematic.
See below for my Butter Wellness 'The Personal Massager' review breakdown:
Disclaimer: I received this product free from Butter Wellness in exchange for my honest review.
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